Covid 19 and Infertility: The emotional side of infertility is immense.

Covid 19 continues to impact us all in so many different ways.
Time is passing by and that is something that alot of us are very conscious of.

Lots of us have been TTC for a long time, are concerned over age and just down right depressed that yet another year will pass and they won’t be a baby to hold at the end of the year.

We just want to scream when we hear all the comments of the pending baby boom due to the lockdown because that is not in our horizon.  As the clinics were required to close their doors, while they are slowly progressing to continuing treatment, our egg collection or transfer might not even happen this year.   We have a tonne of frustrations.  We don’t know when exactly we will be able to progress with our cycle.  Investigational surgeries have been put on hold.  Satellite clinics are not opening till a later date therefore adding more stress as extra travel required for scans.  For those of us cycling abroad we are waiting to see when intentional borders will open and flights will resume; but will we be brave enough to fly at that point?  There is also the issue that specific drugs that we would have previously relied on for treatment are not available for use at the moment due to potential risks, as they are immunosuppressents.  While studies are variable on the efficacy of these treatments to some of us they have made the all-important difference in previous cycles. If to you previously had success you don’t want to be messing with the formula.  So yet another hurdle put in our path.

I know some people may think there are bigger things in the world and get over it.  But for us struggling with infertility this is our big thing and there are just more and more roadblocks being thrown at us.  And we wonder how much more sh*te is there? What have we done to have to walk in these shoes?   How much more of this can I really take? 

I then feel guilty for focusing on myself so much when I watch the news and see the scenes from around the world and hear of people in my locality who have been impacted by this virus.  I know I should be happy with what I have in my life but why is wrong to want to have a baby; extend my family; become a mother. 

Lockdown just gives us too much time to think and overthink and then some more. Some of us are lucky we have a smallie to care for but that doesn’t stop us desperately wanting a sibling.  Some of us are still waiting, have hearts that have so much love to give to a child but we can’t even see when/if that love will be shared. 

While some days we find ourselves doing fantastic and we aren’t thinking about anything, other days we just want to progress with our fertility plan.  When you are suffering from infertility you become a planner, I think mostly as it’s the only thing you feel you have control of and you are being proactive.

Who can we turn to to talk about how we are feeling? 

At times we believe our family and friends feel like we are a broken record, so we turn into ourselves.  And even if we don’t want to explain how we are feeling we can’t even call over to them for a ‘I really need a hug’ moment. 

NISIG, the only registered fertility charity in Ireland, is one such place.  NISIG have gone digital and have been providing regular on line support meetings.  These have proven to be extremely popular. 

Up to now NISIG were providing nationwide face-to face meetings on a quarterly basis in Cork, Dublin and Limerick.  However, due to government requirements, to ensure these meetings continued they were moved on-line, consequently enabling a great reach of audience. 

Several of the Irish fertility clinics have been sharing NISIG meeting information on their social media sites; which identifies they also see the need for additional emotional supports during this time.  During the lockdown the clinics have been providing us with a lot of scientific material which is brilliant as it enables you to have a chance to do some extra research and have queries ready for your next appointment.   These podcasts are extremely beneficial and educational.

Alot of people who have recently attended these meetings for the first time didn’t realise that is was the outlet they were looking for.  A place where you can be completely open and honest and share how you are really feeling, uncensored.  Where you are totally understood and now not so alone.  So, while nothing has changed, the country hasn’t opened up yet, you have a little bit of hope to cling to as that weight that was dragging you down has been shared.

The opening paragraphs of this piece are a merge of the feelings we have heard from some wonderful, brave and supportive women and men at our meetings.

The emotional side of infertility is immense.

Under normal circumstance fertility issues have a huge emotional impact, the ongoing crisis has intensified this. 

We are here to help you.  Please reach out via our support line @ 087-7975058 or email us at nisigireland@gmail.com and watch our social media pages for meeting dates.

Like every charity at this time we are struggling for funding as most of our avenues of funding are not available.  We would really appreciate any contributions people have to give to ensure we can continue to provide and improve or services to all those suffering from infertility.

 

 

 

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